ASCII Interviews : Rory Michaelson

Our newest trainee, Sam Trent, interviews the 2nd Engineering candidate. Warning, harsh language ahead.

  • Please tell us a little about yourself – your profession, your family, and life in the bunker

My name is Rory Michealson.  I’m an Engineer and one of the 500.  I spend my working day in the Bunker, fixing shit for those that live there.  Then I head ‘home’ to my tent on the disease-ridden hell hole that they call the surface.  It’s a good life…  My father was an Engineer.  He bought it when the FEF screwed the pooch.  My mother took her life a few weeks after.  My life in the Bunker?  Hahahhhaahah

  • Why have you decided to stand as a Council Member?

It’s time to sort this sh*t out.  How f*cking hard can it be?  About time someone stood up for the unwashed masses.  The FEF don’t give a flying f*ck, the old council were only concerned with protecting their friends and continuing with their rubber on rubber f*ckfest parties while the rest of us toiled on below,  And all the while allowing shitheels like Rhodes, Gideon and Banshee do what the f*ck they want.

  • What will you bring to the role of council member?

Some f*cking backbone.  Soap alludes to it, but he’s part of the problem.  He reckons he’s had it rough and plays on it for his campaign.  Try living it everyday you pampered illiterate c*nt!

  • The ones of dubious heels you mentioned – it looks like the FEF has already dealt with 2 of the problems you mentioned.  Surely they are making progress?

Yeah but at what cost?  This Gideon thing, they were hardly efficient where they?  We’re basically living the apocalyptic f*cking nightmare now, cheers guys.  Mad Max had it easy, I’d take a V8 Interceptor and a dead wife and kid over any of this bullsh*t.

  • You don’t seem very professional.  And you swear a lot.  Don’t you think this will affect your chances to get elected?

The people who will be voting for me (and there’s plenty, trust me) know that I don’t speak sh*t.  I’m too busy getting things done.  So here’s a message for Soap and the other FEF candidates; You’re SH*T.  You’re a bunch of useless f*ckups, and I’m here to hold you to account!